


RIP

by HASHULIMZZZ



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Office, Dumbassry, Excessive Cursing, No Plot/Plotless, Randomness, SVT Crackfic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-06
Updated: 2020-06-15
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:14:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,074
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23755966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HASHULIMZZZ/pseuds/HASHULIMZZZ
Summary: "Can you pass the salt?""I don't know. Can you pass the title of the CEO?""Nevermind. You salty enough."In other words: Follow the escapades of Hansol Vernon Chwe, a friendly intern, once he steps into the building of a wealthy company: SV Technology
Relationships: Boo Seungkwan/Chwe Hansol | Vernon, Choi Seungcheol | S.Coups/Yoon Jeonghan, Hong Jisoo | Joshua/Yoon Jeonghan, Jeon Wonwoo/Kim Mingyu, Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi/Lee Jihoon | Woozi, Wen Jun Hui | Jun/Xu Ming Hao | The8
Comments: 4
Kudos: 45





	1. CAST

****

**Choi Seungcheol** — as Soon to be CEO

 **Yoon Jeonghan** — as Secretary

 **Hong Joshua** — as Branch Manager

 **Moon Junhui** — as HSE

 **Kwon SoonYoung** — as Project Support Specialist

 **Jeon Wonwoo** — as Finance Manager

 **Lee Jihoon** — as Marketing Manager

 **Lee Seokmin** — as Customer Relations Manager

 **Kim Mingyu** — as Assistant Finance Manager

 **Xu Minghao** — as Deputy General Manager

 **Boo Seungkwan** — as Intern Customer Relations Department

 **Hansol Vernon Chwe** — as Intern at the Financial Department

 **Lee Chan** — as Intern at the Project Management Department

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know the first thing about how a company is run, positions of staff, or what they do— let's keep in mind this is a crack written by a person on crack.


	2. Chapter 2

"How do you feel?"

Vernon glances at the boy beside him. The two walked to the building where they were going to be doing their internship. It excited Vernon. Nevertheless, the boy bummed out because his first choice rejected him.

Before the exams drowned them, their college requested the students to try an internship. He was glad because it would no doubt help him get the gist of the real world. He studied in a prestigious school where everything from the little surprise quizzes to massive projects was taken utterly as serious business. It was not like Vernon did not take it gravely— he was a beloved scholarship student, but sometimes luck did not twirl itself over Vernon's fate.

Vernon chose Neo-Tech, and they rejected him in just one week. They informed him, and Vernon happened to sob upon hearing that. Not literally— he wouldn't sob, but Vernon most mainly wallowing in pity. He cursed his dumb luck.

Boo, (his knight in the shining armor) informed him about the famous company known at SV Technology. They were taking in interns, and Vernon was more than glad to be one of them. He hadn't heard of them, but they had been moving up the ranks for a couple of months. The competition was fierce, and one company battled the other as savagely as it could. It left behind no room for any errors within the companies themselves— they were prone to doom if they made one.  


"What do you mean? What am I supposed to feel?" He asked the shorter boy beside him.

"Hard?"

"I don't feel _that_ , Seungkwan." The blond boy chokes on his saliva as he answers the other. His best friend had never been the best with words, but Vernon didn't openly complain; he endured the pain within himself.

"I mean hard to beat, y' know. Like hard-hard!"

Vernon looked around, attempting to cover the other's mouth. He was loud- louder than he should be, and Vernon feels the blood rush to his ears. The corners are red and hot from the embarrassment he has to go through.

"Do you mean excited?"

"Yeah! Excited! I am very excited, Vernon!" The said boy nods, pursing his lips together to hide his grin.

They step into the building together, approached with the air of specialized technology. The walls and tiles are spotless and white as they look around. The registrar sits in the middle of the ground floor, behind a large counter. It screams prestigious, and the boy have had nothing less with the amount of hard work he had always put in his work. He lets his eyes roam around to take in the inside appearance of the skyscraper. 

There sits a woman in her mid-twenties. Well, that's what Vernon assumes.

"Good morning, ma'am." Seungkwan beats him over the welcome. She looks up at the two, a smile coming up on her clear features.

"Oh, good morning. You two?"

"I am Boo Seungkwan and this is my friend, Chwe Vernon. We are the new Interns here."

"Oh." The woman's eyes widen in realization. A knowing nod is directed at the two as she shuffles through the few papers and a few files. She was no doubt busy with the number of papers that sat over her cold desk. They had various dates, numbers, and signatures and surely were supposed to be dealt with. Vernon gulped the lump in his throat; he was already getting the gist of the real world.

"You two." She pulls a file out, opening it, and he sees their forms. Vernon recalls filling them as soon as he was dissed by Neo-Tech.

"You two can go to floor seventeen."

They thank her, pulling themselves to the elevator.

"I am already feeling the impatience in my ass!"

Vernon snorts as Seungkwan stands on his tiptoes. A grin is present on his features as they enter the elevator. It's spacious, the buttons are crystal clear, and the mirror that looms over them as they step in is immaculate. Either cleaned until the stains were eroded off it, or it must've been used by the most important members only.

Vernon hadn't heard of this company a lot, but judging from the lustrous building it's no doubt high-end. Technology companies, despite not being the top-ranked still made a shit ton of money from just existing.

"Wait! Wait! Wait!" The man rushes to the doors of the elevator. He throws in his hand, freaking the pair out. The doors halt before opening again, and the man advances. A sigh of relief leaves his lips; his figure is disheveled from his hair to his designer suit.

"Sorry about that." His voice is deep as if he is attempting to look prim and proper.

"It's alright." Seungkwan pipes up, pressing the button that shows '17' in white. Vernon wonders if he is going to the same floor as them. Since the man makes no move to push another, Vernon believes it's true. They will no doubt be seeing him a lot from today.

"So, are you two new?" The unnamed man fixes his tie, facing towards the door. The pair stands behind him on either side. They glance at each other.

"We are new interns starting from today," Vernon vocalizes for the first time in a while. This earns a quick hum from the new guy.

"Glad to hear you fancied our place."

"We didn't have a choice—" Seungkwan is nudged harshly by the blond boy.

"I've always wanted to get an outlook of these prestigious businesses. I couldn't miss the opportunity to work here." Vernon tells with a small smile on his expression. Even though the other man could not see it, he could hear it in the tone of the blond boy's voice.

"Since you look forward to working here, I guess I am doing my business well."

"What is your job here, if I may ask?" Seungkwan inquires.

"I am soon to be the CEO of SV Technology."

"Woah!" The questioner gasps, earning a wide-eyed flash from the blond boy. The two watch each other mirror the expression; the man between them is completely unaware. It's the same person who was hastening to grab the lift with a disordered appearance. He is the future CEO of the prestigious tech company? There was not a chance.

"I've looked up to you so much!" Seungkwan nearly shrieks. Vernon could swear the elevator jolted for a second, and he had to brace himself.

The doors open, and the boy sees the faint smile on the eventual CEO's face. The floor is as white, and wide as ever. The huge glass wall is to their right, letting them look over the bustling city of Seoul.

"Woah!" Seungkwan is in awe at the luxurious office floor.

"Welcome to the SV Technology branch." The man says as he turns, and the aura he carries completely different.

"You are Choi Seungcheol!" Vernon recalls the news he once watched of the future CEO who will take over the tech industry with the latest productions. The press conference was boring, making Vernon pass out, but he recognized the face.

"Yes, indeed. I am Choi Seuncheol." He looks at the camera like he is in The Office. "If you support JeongCheol over Jihan, we will give you fifty percent off our latest product."

"Oh, my god! Fifty percent off? Limited only in SV Technology?" Seungkwan gasps, Vernon is rolling his eyes at his friend's loudness. "I support it!"

He watches Seungcheol pull out signed coupons from his coat pocket, giving it to the two of them.

It's gonna be a long-ass ride.


	3. Chapter 3

"I can assuredly get a new TV after my old roommate threw up on the old one." Seungkwan squeal as he grips the coupon close to his heart.

"You had that huge ass CRT TV. It was hideous, so I am not surprised." His friend responds with his arms folded and his very own coupon in his hand.

Vernon looks around the office as they enter through the glass doors. It's utterly spotless and completely tidy. The staff, he assumes, must be dignified and proper. It is not long as he watches a towering man drop his black coffee onto the light-colored floorings. All his thoughts of a dignified staff fly out of the windows, draining out of his mind completely.

"Fuck! Fucking fuck-ity fuck!" There are more curses spewed out as he proceeds to dump his files onto the already messy tiles. The man leans over as he picks up his drenched papers. The three look at him in pity— well, except Cheol. He has the look of distaste on his features, glaring down at the tall man,

"Goddamn it, Mingyu! We have guests over, so maybe, shut that gutter mouth of yours!" He yells at him.

A light blond hair man is running towards them; clad in dress pants, and a white shirt with sleeves rolled.

"Seungcheol! _You_ are late, and you dare scold Mingyu!" He stands with a hand on his hip, and voice laced with anger. His light hair is long, reaching his jaw to frame his face perfectly. Glasses are perched up on the bridge of his nose, reflecting the white lights.

"W—What? That's because you fed me that Chinese takeout, and I had a festival in the bath—" His rambling interrupted by the same man.

"Oh my god! What a mess! Mingyu, please ask the janitor to clean it up." There is the switch in the lean man's personality as he turns to the struggling Mingyu. The man weeps over his spilled coffee and despoiled tasks.

"Junhui, mop the floor, please!"

"For fuck's sake, he is the HSE and not—" Seungcheol is interrupted when another man shows.

"Boss. The finance report is ready, and the General manager is requesting you to meet in fifteen minutes. You both can discuss the new project." There's the slim man, in the similar items of clothing, except Vernon sees his Gucci belt sparkling under the fluorescent lights. The man's rich, and he shows it with his appearance. His voice is robotic, and the two interns feel the dead-ness radiating off.

"Y—Yeah." The two heads turn to the supposed boss, and they know he's overwhelmed after stepping into the office. "I—I'll go meet Joshua."

"Isn't it the boss' task to introduce to the guests, the environment of their new office?"

"There's no need." Vernon squeezes between the two brutes.

"As a good lead—"

"As a good leader, Jeonghan says I am not, but I am." Seungheol looks at the camera like he is in The Office, "I'll show the two of you around in just fifteen minutes. It's proof that I am, indeed, the greatest leader on the planet."

"Oh." The two teens watch the men in the room _skrrt_ off to work. A janitor is wiping the stains of the coffee on the fair tile. They are left alone in the presence of the boss.

"First things first. A good leader always makes sure to communicate with his employees, and me, Seungcheol, makes sure my buddies are working in the best environment where you can express—"

"Soonyoung, you fuckface! You did your stupid ass tiger signature, again! This is not a kindergarten homework, but goddamn serious business!" The short man runs out of his room with a fuming face. The other man is nowhere, and they watch the guy stomp out of the place into oblivion.

Vernon glances at a blank Seungcheol, biting his lip. He might regret being here.

"As I was saying," The latter clears his throat.

There is a scream, loud enough to possibly shatter the glass windows. Seungkwan covers his ears in sudden shock.

"Seokmin?"

"Boss!" The long man screams once more, grasping his boss' thick coat. It was like his life depended on it with the fear covering his face entirely.

"T—There's— There's a bug! A fat ass bug!"

"Fuck's sake, Seokmin. It's not gonna—"

"It was staring at me when I was taking a fat shit, Boss! Like I was it's next feast!"

"Jeonghan stuck a fake spider in the bathroom because Seokmin keeps going there every five minutes." A man with glasses, and a dead face, spoke. He passed by them without a glance.

Vernon could say he looked like the only normal one out of all.

"What the fuck?" Seokmin screeches. There's an accusing finger directed at the guy who adorns a purplish suit. "That's not true!"

"It's alright, Seokmin. Everyone has needs."

"Joshua! That fuck gave me expired muffins, and my stomach had a blast!" Vernon cringes at Seokmin's mention of bowel movements.

"He didn't give it to you. You stole it from his office, Seokmin." The man pulls up his glasses as he turns to them. "Get your facts right."

"Wonwoo!" Seokmin screeches for the third time. His face is red and fuming. Seungcheol attempts to calm his anger while watching Wonwoo go to his own office.

Seokmin huffs before stomping to his place— possibly the bathroom. Seungcheol turns to the teens, running a hand through his hair.

"What department are you an intern for?"

"Finance and Customer relations." Vernon points at Seungkwan at the last part.

"Oh." The older man's eyes widen in surprise, "Then I guess you'll be working with Wonwoo now." He then faces Boo. "You are with Seokmin."

Vernon sighs in relief. He'll at least be working with the most normal man among them; the boy feels sorry for his friend.

"Oh my god!" Seungkwan squeals, "Can't believe I am working in SV Technology!"

"Seungcheol! Fifteen minutes are over, and you are still not done with one task! Do you really expect yourself to become the CEO of a top-tier company?" Another fuming man appears from behind the glass doors. A file in his hand, and a pen clicking in the other. His brows are furrowed showing his anger.

"Cut me some slack!"


	4. Chapter 4

"What do you perhaps mean, young boy?" Seokmin questions with a confused look. He eyes the blond boy who sits opposite him. There is his large office desk keeping him shielded from the deadly aura encompassing the stranger. He is a customer and customers are known to be the most fearsome specie on the fucking planet.

Seungkwan sits on one corner, a little further from them. He watches the scene unfold in front of his with curiosity in his huge eyes. He was here to learn and work with them— Seungkwan was learning.

"I had this roommate's cat yeet my TV. It was brand new, so I need a refund." The boy folds his arms, not a hint of reluctance on his face.

"We are not giving you a refund for a TV that was bought before it was _ruined_. You don't even have a warranty!" Seokmin evokes his words. This was a joke. A boy, nineteen (not even twoteen), was here asking for a bullshit compensation.

"I don't care to give me a refund or I will sue your company!" Seokmin gasps at the words that the customer utters. 

"Sir, you can't do that." He was close to stuttering in a panic, but Seokmin held his ground.

"I don't care! I need my stupid money! That SV TV wasn't even worth it!" The boy stands up, making Seokmin screech, and jump a little in his place. Like a deer caught in headlights, his peepers are wide in shock and fear.

"What!?"

"Shut up, old man! Where is your stupid boss?"

"My boss is not stupid! The only thing stupid here is your stupid face!" Seokmin holds his ground, but close to breaking down.

"Oh, yeah? I am bringing my friends here, and they will attack your stupid company with nasty comments, and your companies reputation is going down the gutter along with your stupid SV TVs, so just give me a refund!" There was no way the kid was stopping his bullshit anytime soon, and the employee had to take matters into his own goddamn hands.

Seokmin screams, loud in response to the boy's declaration. Seungkwan chokes, trying to control his laugh— he was truly learning.

"DK?" Mingyu breaks into the office. He watches Seokmin yeet himself onto the tallboy. Seungkwan pulls his phone out— you know why.

The boy gasps for hair as the seal guy chokes him with zero hesitation in his form. Seokmin was no doubt out of his mind, and Seungkwan filmed it with his brand new SV phone.

"DK! Stop! You are going to kill our client!"

"He's not a client! He's a spy! Park Jisung is the intern at Neo-Tech!" Wonwoo pulls up his glasses. Mingyu gasps beside him, shocked by the sudden appearance of his partner.

"No way! He came here to attack our company!" The man is still unable to believe the revelation by Wonwoo. Then again, Mingyu keeps his blind trust in the only sensible man in the entire company.

"No shit, Sherlock." Jeonghan folds his arms. The men in the room wonder where he showed up.

"I heard of no purchase when I looked into the client who was begging for a refund. All they want to do is ruin our esteemed company." Wonwoo continues.

"Tie him up, and take him to the torture cell!" Jeonghan commands, and all the employees are scurrying off to find ropes and chairs. One Chinese man pulls a screaming Seokmin away from the spy. Seungkwan watches them move around with awe on his features.

"What do you have to say about this, Park Jisung?" Seungcheol sits on the table (his throne) with his hands cusped before his face. His eyes stare deadly into Jisungs fearless ones, and Cheol is surprised how the young boy fears nothing before him.

"Tell me, Park! Open that mouth—"

"Boss, his mouth is taped. . ." Vernon trails off, pointing at the duct tape that is stuck to the boy's face. His eye twitches as he sees Seungcheol look dumbfounded. There is a pause in the room; the atmosphere is tense.

"No shit, Sherlock." Someone says in the background.

"Take it off!"

Jeonghan scurries to pull off the tape. It's harsh against Jisung's skin, and he pulls back, wincing slightly. "You think I'll tell your dumbass anything!"

"You will, now. If you want to live, that is." Wonwoo pushes up the glasses with his middle finger. The stare he sends Jisung makes everyone uncomfortable including the young lad.

There is a pregnant silence.

"I'll let you go on one—" Before the adult man could continue, the door clicks open, and a boy with black hair strolls. All the thirteen heads in the room turn to look at him. There is confusion in the eyes. The boy looks lost.

"Hello." He smiles with a small wave. Hoshi motions back, exchanging smiles. "Is this SV Technology?"

"ANOTHER SPY?" Seokmin points at him accusingly, screaming on the top of his lungs. Vernon, beside him, feels his eardrums explode.

The gasps are heard around the room as Minghao cartwheels like a broke fan around with a rope. The next thing the interns know is there are two boys tied up on the office chairs.

The new one looks as confused as ever.

"Is this a test for interns?" He asks, "Are you an intern, too?" Jisung sticks his tongue out but the boy remains as puzzled as ever.

"Do you want a refund too?" Jeonghan questions.

"Umm... No?"

"Who are you?" Mingyu pipes up.

"Oh!" A smile climbs up onto his features. "I am Lee Chan, and I'll be working with you in the Finance Department as an Intern."

The cheery voice earns a shocking gasp from Jeonghan. "He's one of ours! Get him out!" He exclaims, flapping his hands around like a panicked mother.

"Get him out? You mean to throw him out?"

"The window is the best option." Wonwoo does the anime glasses pose again. The light blinds them all.

"I mean untie him!" The blond man grips his head in frustration. Vernon almost feels bad for the laugh that tries to leave his throat.

This time it's Hoshi pulling the boy out of the restraints. He bows exactly ninety degrees to the older one, joining the crowd around Jisung.

"So. . ." Seungcheol takes his place back on the table, the atmosphere turning dark again. "What is your reason?"

"A fellow intern dared me to fool the stupidest tech in the history of techs, so here I am. I cannot believe I fooled you. He owes me fifty bucks now!" Jisung is laughing and Jeonghan is having none of it.

"Get him out." Man groans and Hoshi proceeds to untie him.

"No, idiot! I meant to throw him out!" It's already too late before they could tie him back. Jisung yeets out of the chair, and kicks Hoshi with his long-ass legs.

Hoshi collapses in pain, gripping his stomach as he sobs on the carpet.

"Oh my god! We are going to die!" Seokmin screams and runs to the bathroom. The office is in utter chaos: Minghao cartwheels around the room, Joshua pulling Jeonghand away from the mess, and Wonwoo stands in the corner with his glasses lit.

The interns join in the other corner of the room with smiles on their faces.

"Hi, I am Seungkwan!"

"I am Chan!"

"And I am Vernon."

The three drank apple juice together while Jisung goes killer on them all.


	5. Chapter 5

**Seungcheol created a group chat**

**Seungcheol added Jeonghan and 11 more**

**Seungcheol renamed the group chat WeGangGang**

**WeGangGang**

Jeonghan  
What is the meaning of this?

Seungcheol  
why so formal Hannie?  
judt  
chill  
bro

Hoshi  
HORANGHAEEEEEEE

Mingyu  
Easy communication when   
we are not in the office :D

Wonwoo  
Except that we are at the office.

Jihoon  
And all of you are slacking off.

Joshua  
Especially our future ceo.

Seungcheol  
>;(  
ill show u  
ill be the best ceo in the history  
of ceos

Jeonghan  
Bet.

Joshua  
50 dollars.

Mingyu  
Does the intern wanna bet? :D

Vernon  
only got few dollars

Seungkwan  
oh myyy gawwddd  
can't believe i am a part of such   
a business group chat

Vernon  
its literally not

Chan  
:D

Mingyu  
:D!

Seokmin  
my hand

Joshua  
Your what?

Seokmin  
i was itching my ass  
my hand is stuck  
all of a sudden ;-;;;;;

Seungcheol  
uuse lube

Jeonghan  
How do you know?

Seungcheol  
it makes things easier  
wait

Joshua  
oh lord jesus

**Vernon has left the group chat**

Seungkwan  
Are yOu Okay???????????????/

Mingyu  
just pull it out :D

**Wonwoo has left the group chat**

Jihoon  
I hate this job

**Minghao has left the group chat**

Hoshi  
you know what i hate????  
non-tigerRSSSS  
JUST KIDDINGGG  
I LOVE YOU ALL EQUSLLY

Seungkwan  
wHARTTTT

Joshua  
Let's collectively agree  
that we won't talk unnecessarily  
in this group chat

Jeonghan  
Please. We don't want to   
know about your bowel movement  
or whatever up your [redacted]

Seungcheol  
up your what?

Mingyu  
He means ass. :D

Jihoon  
There was a reason it   
was redacted Mingyu

Mingyu   
Oh :D

Seungcheol  
Okay, Shua.

**Seungcheol renamed the group chat Office Buddies**

Seungkwan  
i am alone here and   
the calls keep coming.  
DK hyung is still not here.

Jihoon  
That's because he's in the bathroom  
with his hand up his [redacted]

Seungcheol  
Hand up his what?

Chan  
Hand up his butt. :D

Jihoon  
.......

Hoshi  
How does it feel?

Joshua  
He's in there for an hour  
or more   
i watched his 'poop run'  
he ran  
like his life depended on it

Jeonghan  
it feels gay

Hoshi  
I am worried

Seokmin  
it feels like i m pooping  
my arm out  
except its not coming out

Seungcheol  
your arm's like hannie  
it aint coming out

Jeonghan  
Excuse me?

Joshua  
i thiught we were agreeing  
on the business talk only

Jihoon   
we didn't

Seungkwan  
oMGGG  
THIS CUSTOMER KEEPS   
SCREAMIBG  
I NEED SEOKMIN HYUNG   
TO SCREAM BACK;-;;;;;  
PLease hurry

Mingyu  
:D!

Chan  
:D?

Mingyu  
:D!!!

Seokmin  
guys i m gonna cry  
or scream seungkwan  
or both  
help  
my ass  
:'0

**Seen By Junhui**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmao what is this i needed to update yeah thats why


End file.
